Inertia

Law of Inertia. Newton’s first law of inertia states that objects tend to resist changes in their state of motion. An object in motion will tend to stay in motion and an object at rest will tend to stay at rest unless acted upon by a force.

To understand what forces are needed in life would be to know the impossible. It is interesting to me to think of the ways my life has changed in the last five years. Five years ago I was in a dead-end relationship fighting tooth and nail and screaming at the top of my lunges in an attempt to save what I thought was vital to my existence. So enthralled was I, that the thought of better things (or people for that matter) to come never even crossed my mind - nay, those thoughts came and were deliberately pushed away. Certainty as it may seem is less truthful than I had previously thought.

One year after that, I could feel the pendulum swing. Even in the midst of the situation I could feel the change, like it was in the air, or pinned on the moon as a reminder. Though I couldn't have known it at the time, I was ending a destructive relationship and moving on to bigger and better things. I thought I was waiting for the return of my love, but in all honesty, I knew that the love I awaited would come from what I had forgotten, not what I had chased. In six months I realised that I was beautiful and loved and could be the person I wanted to be if only I were to accept the love of my creator as my sufficiency. I was walking with a friend of mine by the river and I told her that I was content being who I was, where I was in life. That I was in love with my life, with my God, and with my future.

Enter Jesse. To this day I honestly believe that only God knows how and why Jesse and I met. I think it will take a lifetime to find out why we are together and how God designed us to be exactly right for each other. Right in ways we like, and in ways we hate, but right none the less. My passion, commitment and convictions collide as I strive to love this man and accept his love for me. Though I am not yet complete, I am completely loved.

Exit Christ (or at least back up). Throughout these, the greatest years of my life, darkness has crept upon me. Though it has gained no foothold, the idea that I can manage life on my own has continually tempted me. And for this, another pendulum has been installed thus leading me to the present time and situation. It's in the air again, and once again hung on the moon. I embrace the confidence that comes with new independence and reliance. Alone, I feel powerful. My God will continue to complete me and for that reason I cling to his Grace, Hope and Peace. As we turn towards our new life we feel the inertia break. It is completely uncomfortable, irritating, fulfilling and beautiful. It is complex. As it should be.