Thursday, April 7, 2011

Confessions

My husband has MS

     I'm really sad about that!

I'm tired of MS

I'm codependent.  Didn't used to be.  But I am now.

I don't know how to keep a good mood going with a seemingly unhappy person around.

My husband seems unhappy when he's tired, feels icky, or is actually unhappy.

I am mostly selfish and mainly care when my husband is ill because of how it will affect me.

     How terrible is that?

I'm terrified about our future.

I don't know how to get over my anger about my husband's MS enough to worry about how he'll feel.

I keep praying for a break from all the crap and chaos

     So we will have some sort of positive foundation to fall onto again.

I forget how to rely on God.

I don't know how to calm myself down when I'm angry.

I expected to be better at all of this.

     I agreed to marry someone who had MS because I thought I'd be good at caring about him.

          I had no idea.

I want to be better at all of this.

Lord, in my weakness please, oh please, be my strength!